Just a few years ago, my husband and I were facing challenging consequences from bankruptcy.
It was a harsh reality and a result of delusional decision making and a series of unfortunate events.
We had bought a house in an impulsive haze of postpartum blues that I was believing would make me whole.
We did not fully consider the weight of this decision.
It was 2006, and loans to unqualified buyers like ourselves were being handed out all over the country.
It didn't take us long to realize that hope is not a strategy that would pull us through all of the real life responsibilities.
Less than a year later, we adjusted accordingly and left the suburbs of Chicago to move to our supportive home base in Northern VA to find better jobs, more support, and a start over.
Turns out the real work of rebuilding had only just begun.
We managed for a few years with renters and seemingly hundreds of calls to “work” with the bank(s) on our options to short sell the property.
This felt possible, and we went for it as soon as a renter ended their lease earlier than expected.
Then winter came.
No really, Chicago winter came, and at that point a communication breakdown with a new realtor resulted in massive water damage to the house.
Hearing this news was like a experiencing a stroke of FEAR.
We had to accept full responsibility and work towards the only best option which was bankruptcy.
The ordeal of filing bankruptcy is traumatic.
It took over a year and required us to document every cent spent and coming in to which my husband managed like a Excel ninja.
He worked all the numbers, all the time, providing our lawyer with the details that would make the difference between massive financial destruction and the freedom to start over.
At 7 months pregnant with my second, we sat in front a court that effectively relieved us of our water logged debt.
We had held that vision and “pose” for what seemed like forever and then in a few minutes there was sweet relief.
Then the determination and BELIEF set in.
We made the decision to transform and create a completely different future reality.
We committing to believing every day since, that our previous version would not define us or deny ANYTHING we set out to do.
We knew that any great success is built on a pile of failures.
Even when the evidence and the credit scores didn’t reflect our vision - we believed harder.
The “how” was easy - the how revealed itself with opportunities and advancement even more abundant and aligned than anticipated.
Truth is transformation is messy and testing and completely worth it.
Transformation isn’t always by choice, isn’t always what we had in mind - but we do get to decide what it will ultimately create FOR us.
5 Tips for Transformation
Notice your desire, your craving that is trying to come through you.
Fear is a part of the process and essential to uplevel an area of your life.
Allow yourself to FEEL and visualize everyday what reaching the other side of your goal will be like.
Take consistent (imperfect) action over time this will yield massive results.
- Let Go.
Make the choice to let go of any old stories or narratives - give yourself permission at any time drop it.
The hardest learned lessons that transform our realities are actually happening for us.
Now on the "other side" of this ordeal, I realize how important staying open and receptive it to welcoming a blessing in disguise.
I would be grateful to stay in touch!